Another Lucid Dream

For any of you who are interested in a short erotic tale, you can find one here:

http://dreamaware.blogspot.com/

N.B. ~ As for the blog title, "Lucid Dreams" (or dreams you know you're having)... I personally have never had any problem daydreaming. For those of you who do (that is, those of you who want to daydream more, but don't know how), my blog links a "how-to" site on lucid dreaming. This blog promises that its techniques will allow you to control your dreams and make your dreams what you want when you want. LOL.

Gagapalooza, August 6-8, Chicago

A few years ago (2007) Lady Gaga was a side-stage act at Lollapalooza. Today she joins the other top billings - Soundgarden, Green Day, Arcade Fire, The Strokes, and Phoenix - headlining 100+ other groups and artists including Devo, Spoon, MGMT, The Black keys, Neon Trees, Empire of the Sun, et al.


Lollapalooza fans attending the festival will find it larger this year. Thirty five more acres of Grant Park will provide breathing space and boost attendance. (For the last two years attendance has been about 75,000 per day, pretty much what the existing space could handle.)


I'm pretty sure those of you that planned to go have already bought your discounted passes and made up your custom line-ups, LOL. Nevertheless, the tickets still available are $90 per day or $215 for a 3-day pass.

http://www.lollapalooza.com/

Una Bella Gnocca

Summertime. Fun in the sun. Bikinis, daisy dukes, playsuits... My GF Michele insists that I have the best derriere in SL. For my part, I think hers is far better.

The highly subjective and judgmental issue of what constitutes a nice female posterior is an extremely frequent subject of conversation. But then, I believe that discussion of the female form constitutes one of the most important subjects of discourse in Western culture — the appreciation of the beauty of the booty, its sexuality, and its place in the tradition of the nude in art. This is not a new thing. For example, the adjective callipygian is hundreds of years old and is based upon an ancient statue of Aphrodite narcissistically admiring her own butt reflected in water, originally in the Sanctuary of Aphrodite in Syracuse (Sicily, not New York, Michele - Yes, I know it’s your alma mater).

callipygian–adjective - having well-shaped buttocks. Also, callipygous. Origin: 1640–50; Gk kallipýg ( os ) with beautiful buttocks; referring to a statue of Aphrodite ( kalli- calli + pyg ( ḗ ) rump + -os adj. suffix) + ian

There are those who insist that there is a GOLD STANDARD of female derriere today, and that it's known as the APPLE BOTTOM, formerly the HEART SHAPE. What?? This makes very little sense. The only apples I have ever seen shaped like bums, good or bad, are misshapen freaks. Maybe an apple upside down... or tomato. Or maybe a pear. (This, of course, is not to be confused with overall body type. A woman's bust, waist, and hips are her physical inflection points, and the ratios of their circumferences are used to define her basic shape. These are sometimes described as banana, pear, apple or hourglass shapes. A banana is straight, a pear hippy, an apple wide-shouldered, and an hourglass, well, you know. The banana and apple shapes are considered somewhat androgynous - sorry girls. An hourglass, on the other hand, points us in the right direction.)

I don't think the perfect feminine derriere is shaped like a fruit of any kind. The perfect posterior simply has excellent symmetry, form, and structure. It is full, round, and shapely, while also being taut, firm, and compact. Above all, it must simply be aesthetically appealing, nicely curved and sleek, with beautiful contours. A pert, shapely, well-rounded derriere is a good derriere, round and full buttocks being the key, with shapely curves and feminine voluptuousness.

In all fairness, in researching this blog, I ran across more than a few shapely male bottoms. Not to be negative though, they lack a certain something... that softness and voluptuousness that is present in even a very taut and firm female derriere. Butt let’s not go off on a tangent.

So the combinations and permutations of the features that make up a fine female derriere may be too numerous to elaborate. In any case, there are a huge number of variations on good booty out there, and I will not attempt to categorize them all. I will give mention, however, to the latest attempt to quantify bootyliciousnes by an English psychologist named David Holmes:

In this procedure, a woman assesses her assets on a scale from 1 to 20 (20 being best) in the following categories: S = overall shape, C = circularity, B = bounciness (less is preferred), F = firmness, and T = skin texture. She then calculates this: V = the ratio of hips to waist. (Interestingly, despite wide differences in preferences for body type, scientists have discovered that the waist-hip ratio is strongly correlated to the perception of attractiveness across all cultures.) And plugs it all into this formula: (S+C) x (B+F) / (T-V)

The closer she is to 80, the better. But once again, this attempt at measurement is based upon extreme subjectivity.

There is one specific feature, however, that is left out, and that I think truly enhances the female posterior's ability to make a singular impression... This is whether or not it SMILES. If you've got one that does, hunny, you are IN LIKE FLYNN!!! (Flynn? Well, Samantha maybe...) And if you don't have one, or have one that FROWNS, you know that too :(

So we’re back where we started. Like female baboons whose enflamed scarlet backsides ensnare their mates, so the human female's buttocks will beguile the male. We will continue to be influenced by the myth of the two Syracusian sisters, farmer's daughters, whose impeccably shapely hindquarters won them wealthy husbands. And, rightly or wrongly, we will continue to see all of life’s little wins and losses in terms of our booties. *SIGH*

By the way, Jennifer Lopez and Jessica Alba have vastly different posterior types, BUT THEY BOTH SMILE!

“Now there's a broad with a future behind her.”
Actress Constance Bennett, remarking upon Marilyn Monroe's derriere

Why Do Guys Think Nutshots Are Funny?

I left work and wuz picked up by my spouse yesterday evening in the midst of the Taste of Chicago mayhem across the street. Behold a group of teens (prolly students at my university) wuz trying to raise cash to go to Taste. One wuz wearing a huge blue animal head (Sonic the Hedgehog?) to attract attention.

For those of you who don't know, The Taste of Chicago is the world's largest food festival, held annually the 10 days leading up to the 4th (this year June 25th-July 4th). More than 50 restaurants attract literally millions to the Grant Park to enjoy a variety of food from popular restaurants serving ethnic and Chicago-style specialties. Events include live music by well-known artists on multiple stages, nightly film performances, and fireworks. The festival culminates in 4th of July fireworks at three locations along the City's 26-mile lakefront. All performances are free, but food tickets sold at the entrance are not.

So this group of kids wuz tryin to raise money for food tickets: $2.00 for a nutshot! :=P Needless to say, the car in front us of stopped (traffic wuz already standing still), and the young driver got out, paid his money, and gave it a shot. OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Needless to say, age notwithstanding, spouse thought it hilarious.

This led me to ponder the popularity of nutshots, and WHY they seem funny, mainly to men... as a form of entertainment, or as a means of raising money? All I can say is that, going by this, it seems there are plenty of entertaining things at Taste BESIDES the acts. However, I wouldn't laugh if a girl got hit between her legs. I would feel bad for her. You would think that guys would feel another guy's pain, especially if the kick or the hit was hard enough to cause damage to the goods. Why do guys laugh?

I guess it's like slapstick really... comedy involving exaggerated violence and activities which exceed the boundaries of common sense. Some part of a guy's brain harkens back to the days when he used to watch cartoons as a kid. It's the humor of when somebody steps on a rake and gets slapped in the face by the pole, often found in children's cartoons and light film comedies aimed at younger audiences, I think it makes men laugh the most. It's more of a guy thing. A lot of girls will say the Three Stooges are the stupidest thing they've ever seen.

On the other hand, I'm sure that not all guys react to a nutshot with laughter. Some guys will grab their nuts, exclaim "OOOH~" and proceed to shudder uncontrollably. Personality probably has a lot to do with it. Or the circumstances of the nutshot itself.

Speaking of slapstick, some argue that this form of humor goes back to Church liturgical dramas in the Middle Ages, of all things, and some argue it was present in Greek and Roman theater as well. Beating the devil off stage was a stock comedic device in otherwise serious religious plays. But of course you couldn't kill him, whatever you did to him, LOL .

If I obtain added info on nutshots, I'll let you know :=P

BBQ Tips - Your opinion isn't in my recipe, LOL!

These tips are not necessarily intended to all be used together. Also, my favorite stores and foods may not be yours. Don’t be judgmental… we’re all entitled to our opinions, LOL.

You already know how to grill stuff (zones, indirect, etc.), so I won't go into that, but I will say get a grill with a good ash-catcher so you don't burn down your deck. And always…

Choose the correct method of cooking for what you’re trying to prepare.

Rinse your meat (yes, it’s dirty). Rinse your vegetables too.

WATCH YOUR MEAT CLOSELY even if it seems to be taking a long time and you think you can relax with a cocktail. You can’t, LOL.

Unlike the center of a steak, the center of a burger can harbor germs. Cook ground beef to 155°F.

Marinate your chicken in bottled Italian dressing.

Marinate your steaks in bottled Italian dressing.

Coat your veggies with bottled Italian dressing.

Marinate your boneless pork loin in bottled Italian dressing. (Use several tablespoons, and wrap it in saran with sliced onions and minced rosemary and thyme overnight. If extra garlic is desired, pierce meat and insert slivers. Grill indirect for a little over an hour.)

If you want to, make your own Italian dressing, LOL.

If you wish to use to subsequently use your marinade as a sauce (rather than waste it), boil it.

Try white barbeque sauce on chicken, seafood, and pork. (1 qt. mayonnaise, 3/4 qt. apple cider vinegar, 1/2 c. corn syrup, 1/4 tbsp. cayenne pepper, prepared horseradish, lemon juice, salt and freshly ground black pepper) Use it in cole slaw and potato salad.

Buy good fresh sausage, Italian (Dominick’s is okay, hot and/or mild) or Polish (Andy’s in Chicago for all your Polish sausage needs, http://www.andysdeli.com/). Most ppl in Chicago eat Vienna hot dogs. If you live in upstate New York, like Michele, you prolly favor Zweigle's white hots over Vienna for hot dogs. Zweigle's ships these and a variety of other fresh and pre-cooked sausages nationwide (http://www.zweigles.com/order_online.asp).

Stuff your hamburgers with blue cheese (spread about a tablespoon of a mixture of equal parts blue and cream cheese with some parsley and onion powder between two 2 oz. patties and press together sealing the edge). These can also be marinated in red wine.

Slit your hot dogs and stuff them with cheddar cheese, then wrap them in bacon to hold it in. Also use some water soaked tooth picks. (This used to be called a "Francheezie" and was once a staple at every greasy spoon in Chicago. What ever happened?)

(Many things can be served with added strips of bacon, a la Razzie.)

Since these are barbeque tips, something needs to be said about pork ribs and especially tips. Spareribs are large but have the least actual meat. (There's a lot of fat and gristle on each rib. The fat can make the ribs more tender than baby back ribs.) Baby back ribs are smaller and less fatty than spareribs, but have more meat. St. Louis Cut ribs are spare ribs with the breastbone ”rib tips” removed. St. Louis cut rib racks are almost rectangular in shape and therefore cook evenly. (Find out how to trim spareribs St. Louis style here - http://www.bbq-book.com/news2006/html/october_2006.html).

Yes, barbeque tips. Many barbeque connoisseurs will argue that rib tips, bony and more heavily marbled, are the most flavorful of rib meats. They are also cheap. You do them pretty much as you would any ribs. Sprinkle with a dry rub (for example - 2 tbsp. paprika, 2 tbsp. light brown sugar, 2 tbsp. salt, 1 tbsp. ground red cayenne pepper, 1 tsp. dry mustard, 1 ground bay leaf), cook them on the grill 2-3 hours at about 300°F (relax, these DO take a long time), cut into 1” cross-cut strips, and serve with your favorite sauce.

If you barbeque anything, serve it with Wonder Bread.

Husk your corn and wrap it with butter, salt, and paprika in a double layer of foil. (With a double layer of foil, it won't burn. Removing the husk removes the risk of bugs, and rinsing it removes insecticides... cleaner, seasoned, and tastier though less picturesque).

☆☆☆☆☆ FIVE STAR recipe special: Gudrun’s Secret Simplified Rumaki appetizer (or meal even - see this blog’s posting for July 14, 2008).

RUH-ROH!

Dancing near Lacie Deere and her hunny Razor Summers at Hotlanta, both of whom are very up on contemporary lingo, I hear it all the time. But it wasn't until I saw an episode in which House said it with a Scooby-Doo accent that I realized how thoroughly this meme had permeated our means of communication in 21st century America. Where did it come from? And what does it mean?

First of all, it is NOT "rut-roh." Rut-roh means something totally different. Rut-roh implies something truly heinous. In the words of the Urban Dictionary, in the context of hooking-up, rut-roh is "a pre-meditated and fully thought out MISTAKE": for example, a disgusting choice of mate material. If enough rut-roh's come in a series, the perp generally establishes the reputation as a skank or a man-whore.

Where it came from is also not so obvious. Astro was a canine character in the Hanna-Barbera cartoon show, The Jetsons (see Wikipedia), and was designed by Iwao Takamoto. Astro was more advanced than present-day dogs, in that he had a rudimentary grasp of the English language. However, being of Japanese origin and a gR-R-owling dog as well, he placed r's in many places they shouldn't be, or in place of other letters such as "l." For example, "I love you, George" would be "I ruv roo, Reorge." Astro's signature expression was "Ruh-roh!" (or "Ruh-roh, Reorge!"), supposedly the canine variant of "Uh-oh!" (an expression of dismay or perhaps some other emotion). Scooby Doo's signature expression was "Ruh Roh Raggy!" (Uh Oh Shaggy!) - He was also designed by Iwao Takamoto, but later.

So Scooby Doo was the more recent but not the original progenitor of the expression. The widespread usage of ruh-roh is real, however, and it remains mysterious. Scientists and social theorists have not quite figured out just why young adults, boomers, and even older individuals feel the need to utter the phrase at the first hint of a humorous mishap. It's not as if anyone even watches the show Scooby-Doo anymore.

Slang’s primary reason for existence is to establish a sense of community among its speakers. When slang is used, there is a postulated unit of cultural ideas or practices which are transmitted from one mind to another through writing or speech. Those ideas evoke membership in the same “tribe.” Because belonging is so important, slang is used as a powerful manifestation of identity.

So probably, use of the term is symbolic of belonging to an age cohort. And perhaps because parents also watch cartoons, and perhaps because of reruns on the cartoon channel and late night TV, probably more than one. Scooby's name itself was based upon the "doo-be-doo-be-doo" of a Frank Sinatra song ("Strangers in the Night"). So that explains that part too, LOL.

Michele, btw, LUVS to do her gardening in a bikini…

Harem

There's a new fun group in Second Life. The group is called "Harry's Harem." Members can expect to have a really good time and learn all about SL club dancing from one of its leading practitioners and experts. Requirements are that you be out for fun and friendship, and that you be able to dance the night away while staying out of trouble. Prospective members can apply to Harry Bailey. (You had better drop him a notecard as his IMs may be capped.)

So it's a harem? In modern colloquial (and humorous) English, "harem" may denote a number of (usually) female followers of another person, and this probably applies to Harry's Harem. (see Wikipedia) But in the backs of our minds is the fantastical mystery of the harems of our imaginations, fueled by the exotic luxury of places like the Topkapi palace, the legend of Ishtar and exotic dancers such as Salome, and the romance and cachet of words like serraglio. Myths abound. Now is a good time to bust them. Let's look at what a harem really is, the behaviors associated with it, and the myths that came about.


Myth: A harem is a sexually charged orgy room guarded by eunuchs.

Truth: The harem is simply the women's quarters of a Muslim household, be it in a palace or whatever, as opposed to the men's quarters (the selamlik). It's where the where the women carry out their everyday business.

The word harem comes about because female seclusion is emphasized in Islam, and any intrusion is haram or "forbidden." A harem can be a few women, a few dozen women, or as many as the quarters will accommodate.

A Muslim harem does not necessarily consist solely of the head of household's wives and concubines, but also their young offspring of either sex, female servants, and any variety of other female relatives, In a sense, it's the private living quarters of the Sultan and his family within a palace complex which also contains men's quarters and administrative areas. Though the harem is rapidly disappearing in the 21st century, some still exist in the more remote areas of the Muslim world.


Myth: Harem girls use belly dancing to get their way with the Sultan.

Truth: This dance form is traditional in the Middle East and is not a dance of seduction. Though done in harems by the women of the harem, it is mostly for their own entertainment, to celebrate special occasions, or simply pass the time of day. Music and dance are very much a part of everyday life. Little girls learn the shimmy dance as soon as they can walk, and doing it as a response to jubilant music is almost automatic. It has little sexual connotation. (This does not mean that the Sultan never comes by to watch.)

At both the Paris Exposition in 1889 and the even better Columbian Exposition in Chicago in 1893, the "Streets of Cairo" was featured. This themed area included a dancer called "Little Egypt." The term "belly dance" was coined by American promoters who wouldn't have known or cared what the dance was called in its native land. Their only interest was attracting crowds to ogle the exotic dancers.


Myth: Salome did a traditional seductive dance called the "Dance of the Seven Veils" for her horny stepfather Herod. As a reward for her performance, she requested John the Baptist's head on a platter. This was because she was in love with John and couldn't have him any other way.

This is partly true, but that Salome was the dancer is traditional, not Biblically explicit. (The traditional name Salome is based on the accounts of Flavius Josephus, the Roman-Jewish historian.) In addition, it was her mom her who instructed her to do the nasty. And the "Dance of Seven Veils" was a theatrical creation, though based upon a mythic reality.

Salome was the daughter of Herodias and the stepdaughter of Herod Antipas, ruler of Galilee. John had condemned the marriage of Herodias and Herod because Herodias was the daughter of Herod's brother Aristobulus and also the divorced wife of his half-brother Philip. John's public disapproval angered Herod and Herodias, and Herod imprisoned John but was afraid to have him killed because of his reputation and popularity. This was not enough for Herodias, however, who contrived to get even. She pressed her daughter Salome to seduce her stepfather Herod with a dance and make him promise to give her whatever she wished. At her mother's behest, Salome asked for the head of John the Baptist on a platter. Somewhat unwillingly, Herod did her bidding and had John decapitated.

Salome as seductress and femme fatale was popularized by Oscar Wilde who put the Biblical story on stage and made John's execution a crime of passion. Wilde's play subsequently inspired the Richard Strauss one-act opera. In the opera, Herod's lust for Salome is emphasized. Salome, in turn, desires John the Baptist — a not entirely new idea at the time — but John rejects her, and the only way Salome may have any part of him is to demand his head be given to her. Salome fulfills her passion by kissing the dead lips of John's decapitated head. (Eeeeeeeeeewww!)

This more familiar version of Salome depicts her as the seductress of her stepfather and the murderer of a saint, thereby making her the symbol of the erotic and dangerous woman, the femme fatale. In the play and a later movie, Salome was played by a true femme fatale, the beautiful Maud Allan. And it was only Strauss's opera in which Salome stripped her veils for King Herod. The Dance of the Seven Veils is not a traditional dance based upon Ishtar's descent into the underworld. It was a Broadway and then a Hollywood gimmick, and it wound up making both the dance and Salome household words.

In the play, Herod becomes fearful and has Salome killed as well. In actuality, according to Josephus, Salome was long-lived, married twice, and raised several children. (Also note that this Salome was distinct from Salome, the follower of Jesus, who was present at the Crucifixion.)


Myth: Belly piercings were a seductive tool for harem girls.

Truth: Speaking of Hollywood gimmickry, this one is pure tinsel. A series of scandals rocked the movie industry in the 1920s: Fatty Arbuckle involved in the death of Virginia Rappe at a wild party, the murder of William Desmond Taylor amidst revelations of his bisexuality, the drug-related death of Wallace Reid, and host of other incidents. In the resulting backlash, a production code was devised to ensure morality in the movies (the Hays Code, 1930). Among other things, costuming rules became very strict: Actresses were not allowed to show their navel or wear two piece costumes.

During the filming of the 1903 movie, "The Vision Of Salome," a censor stopped the filming because of the costume the actress Maud Allan was wearing. Maud was sent to wardrobe where they quickly fixed the problem in a somewhat mischievous fashion. An elaborate costume necklace was ripped apart and used to join the top and bottom of the two piece costume, finishing it off by draping the remains around the belly. A fake jewel was then glued into Maud's navel.

They weren't worn in the harem, but belly dancers would forevermore wear belly chains and navel jewelry. :=P